In the latest version of the Takattak game, Takattak Trash, there's a new way to play. After a verbal aggression, you're invited to explain.
There are many possibilities, depending on which "sting" card you come across:
- Explain to a racist that he shouldn't be one, and why not reason him out using historical arguments...
- Explaining to a misogynist how his attitude is counter-productive or hurtful to half of humanity...
- Explain to a homophobe that it's okay to be respectful of different sexual orientations, even if you don't share them...
It's all very well, but most of the time - say 9 times out of 10 - it's completely useless!
Worse: it will reinforce the SRH's sense of impunity (sexist-racist-homophobic for short, knowing that you can be one or the other or all 3) and often he'll take the opportunity to bounce back in a more sarcastic, even cruel and contemptuous way.
A little test?
Play the role of an SRH (your choice) and carefully select your victim-accomplice, who is obviously in on the act.
Don't let yourself go in the wild - it's a bit dangerous!
Come up with the kind of nonsense we hear all too often:
"Foreigners make lots of children for the allowances".
"Gay marriage is unnatural
"Women belong in the kitchen or in my bed".
...
Let your victim-accomplice explain why the comment is derogatory and react like a true SRH.
Whether you take on the role of the redneck, the moral mother or the patronizing cousin, you'll notice right away: you can say anything to be right.
You're not listening at all.
And you see your victim-accomplice struggling (and sweating a little) to make you see reason with arguments, figures, well-thought-out reasoning and so on. You, in your role, at best, don't care, at worst, you feed on it to ridicule your victim.
You'll come out the winner. The laughter on your side. 9 times out of 10.
So why a game variation: "In fact, I explain"?
- To develop arguments in case you come across the 1/10 who are open enough and ready to hear your side of the story.
- To play, because sometimes explaining feels good, and it's fun in the context of a game.
So what's the right attitude to 9/10s?
Effective repartee in discussions with colleagues, on social networks, with family and even with a few SRH friends (in an environment where you're safe) is... to mock, ridicule, demodulate, imitate them, repeat the same unfounded arguments, the same methods.
When it comes to SRH, we're really too nice, and often don't even reply in exasperation.
Fighting on equal terms, contrary to what you might think, immediately takes the wind out of the sails.
One rule, however: react.
Even when the derogatory comment is not directly addressed to you.
Here are a few examples of phrases heard in the last 3 days and some suggestions for a response:
- Life was simpler without the Muslims, it was better before.
What was simpler was when you kept your viper tongue in your mouth and used your tiny brain.
- Women dream of equality, but it's not in their genes
Speaking of awkwardness, your backhanded comments bother me.
A little maturity will make everyone happy.
- Homos are a plague: they're going to destroy the basis of our civilization.
Listening to you, I wonder who's destroying what.
In any case, I don't see you building much.
So stop explaining, or worse, justifying yourself. Your explanation could be like throwing oil on the fire, and waste your energy.
It's not easy, but if you ever find yourself up against SRH, practice hitting back in a firm, mocking way: the evil spirits deserve it, and you'll feel a lot lighter for it.
Geneviève
Faced with racism, sexism and homophobia, is it necessary to "explain"?