To retort, to respond quickly, for the pleasure of it, of course. And to not appear weak, as well.
But also to maintain one's relationships and self-esteem. Just for that, it's worth it!
An example?
The day had started well...
I got up at my own pace, without an alarm clock. The birds start singing in the morning. The kids were in good mood, and we shared a nice breakfast.
I took the car to work. There was no traffic on the road. I stopped to let an old man pass. He smiled at me. At the office, Clara complimented me on my new red dress. Then she told me about her travel plans. We worked well, I was pleased with myself. My boss came to congratulate us, which made me want to do even more.
At lunchtime, the three of us went to a restaurant together. A small salad and then we got back to work.
In the evening, the kids did their homework without a second thought. We made a pasta dish together. Jules hurt his hand cutting carrots, which made us laugh, but we went to the hospital anyway. He got a few stitches and then we went home and had a glass of wine before going to bed.
The day had started badly...
I got up with a twinge in my neck. Jules blamed me for not having bought a new mattress yet. He'd been snoring all night, so I made a point of pointing it out to him. By the way, I had recorded his snoring on my smartphone.
The kids were late. I lost my temper. Jules told me I lacked authority.
By car, traffic was heavy. Just as we were restarting after the traffic lights, an old man crossed the road, right in front of me. He glowered at me and shouted something hateful about women drivers.
I arrived stressed at work and went to the bathroom to put on make-up, which gave me a boost.
But when she saw me, Clara said I looked tired, and twisted her mouth. Then she looked me up and down. She said: "What? Doesn't my dress fit? My boss came in, rolled her eyes when I handed her the report I'd spent the weekend working on, and turned on her heels without saying thank you.
So at lunchtime, I went to eat alone. A salad, because I realized that Clara thought I looked stuffy in my dress.
In the evening, the children had trouble doing their homework, they were turbulent and Jules told me again that I lacked authority. It irritated him, so he cut himself while preparing the Bolognese.
At the hospital emergency room (we waited 3 hours!), the doctor said he'd really come for nothing and that he didn't have all that to do. Jules, who hates being humiliated, pouted the whole way and told me that if I'd had more authority, the kids would have done their homework on their own, that he wouldn't have had to take care of the meal and that all this would never have happened.
He went to bed. I had a glass of wine on the couch where I finally spent the night.
The day had started badly (but...)
I got up with a twinge in my neck. Jules blamed me for not having changed the mattress yet. I told him he was right and that I'd like him to take care of it, he's better at it than I am. (Compliment)
The kids were late. Jules told me I lacked authority. I replied that he was going to miss his train (Pirouette).
In the car, traffic was heavy. Just as we were restarting after a traffic light, an old man crossed the road, right in front of me. He glowered at me and shouted something obnoxious about women drivers. I told him he'd better get out of my way if he didn't want to be buried this week. (Self-deprecating)
When I got to work, I went into the bathroom to put on some make-up, which gave me a boost.
But when she saw me, Clara told me I looked tired, and twisted her mouth. I told her I'd had a hell of a night, that it would do her good once in a while.(Insolence) Then she looked me up and down. "What's wrong? Doesn't my dress fit?" I turned around and said: I'm so hot in my new dress (self-mockery). My boss came in, rolled her eyes when I handed her the report I'd spent the weekend working on, and turned on her heels without saying thank you. I didn't take it personally, I just thought it was time she changed her mattress.
At lunchtime, I went for a salad with Clara because she thinks she has to watch her figure to have a good night's sleep too.
In the evening, the kids had trouble with their homework, they were unruly and Jules told me again that I lacked authority. I told him he was probably right and that's why I was so cuddly with him, and then I kissed him. (Truth) He laughed and cut his finger preparing the Bolognese. At the emergency room, the doctor said he'd really come for nothing and that he didn't have that much to do. Jules hesitated to reply: "Sorry, I stupidly thought you were a doctor" (Insolence), "I'm hypersensitive, a drop of blood and I faint", (Self-deprecation), "You're so good, it'll go really fast". (Compliment)
We went home, had a glass of wine, and had a hell of a night... so Clara could tell me tomorrow that I look tired.
To have a quick wit and shut someone up is also about having a good day.